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Essay Writing Services By Unemployed Professors

What Makes a Great Essay Writing Service?

When you’re looking for an essay writing service, it's important to find one that meets your needs and provides a great quality product. To make it easier to find the best essay service, here are some important characteristics to keep an eye out for:

  • Professional Quality: The most essential factor to consider when choosing an essay writing service is the quality of their work. Look for someone who has a track record of producing high-quality essays and knows their subject matter. Ensure they guarantee originality and creativity with each project. Be sure to read any reviews and customer feedback to get a better idea of their writing ability. A good essay service should have policies in place to guarantee the quality of their work. Pay attention to things like editing, proofreading, and other measures to ensure accuracy and originality. Read the terms and conditions to be sure you understand all the processes.
  • Affordability: When looking at pricing, consider more than just the quoted rate. Read reviews on the company's pricing structure and ensure it is fair, as well as reasonable for the quality of work you are expecting. If a price is too good to be true, you should be suspicious – or be ready to get what you’re paying for.
  • Flexible Services: Many essay services offer a variety of services, such as editing and proofreading, developmental edits, and more. Find one that works for you. Check for services such as formatting and style adjustment, as well as revisions that cater to your specific needs.
  • Safety and Security: Don’t make the mistake of overlooking the essay service's online security measures. Make sure that any of your personal and payment information is always securely encrypted and that the website is secure and reliable.
  • Experienced Essay Writers: Make sure you are working with an essay service that offers writers with expertise. Look for writers who have experience in the topic you need to write about and those who are dedicated to customer satisfaction. A service should be proud to point out their professional authors and the qualifications they possess.
  • Affordable Prices: Don’t sacrifice quality for price. Look for an essay writing service that offers reasonable rates and does not sacrifice quality in order to offer them. A good indication of this is if they can clearly explain their pricing structure.
  • Reliable Customer Support: It is important to work with an essay writing service that makes sure customers feel taken care of. You need to be able to quickly contact customer service with any issues or questions you may have. Also ask about delivery policies, payment methods, and a secure ordering process.
  • Commitment to Meeting Deadlines: Nobody wants an essay late and so it is important to find an essay service that takes deadlines seriously. Many services offer an expedited process in case you need something more quickly. A great essay writing service will also avoid making promises about crazy deadlines and manage your expectations if you want something immediately.

Choosing the right essay service can be a difficult and time-consuming task. Fortunately, focusing on these important characteristics will help you find the best essay service to meet your needs.

The Benefits of Using an Essay Writing Service

Anyone can benefit from using an essay writing service - really! Whether you're a genius with the written word or a feel the pen is more intimidating than the sword, an essay service will help you. It will save you time, it will save you stress, and it will improve your writing. Essay writing services can be extremely helpful for students who are struggling to write their own essays. They can also be helpful for jobseekers, recent grads, or business owners.

Essay services make your life easier by adding value in multiple ways. From proofreading and editing to researching and writing, essay services have the expertise and resources to help you get your essays done quickly and correctly. With an essay writing service, you can spend your time focusing on your ideas, not worrying about grammar. This can allow you to concentrate.

Essay writing services, you can save yourself a lot of time and energy. Instead of spending hours trying to write an essay, you can simply provide the essay service with the topic, deadline, and other pertinent information, and they will take care of the rest. They will research, write, and edit your essay to make sure it is of the highest quality. In addition to saving you time, essay services also provide quality assurance. They use experienced writers who have a deep understanding of different essay formats and styles. This ensures that your essay will be written according to the highest standards.

Finally, an essay writing service can provide you with valuable feedback about your essay. The feedback can help you improve your writing and make sure that your essay is of the best quality. Instead of accepting the spellcheck’s correction, you can have a conversation about your meaning and intent.

So, if you’re looking for a way to save time and get the best essay possible, then an essay service is the way to go. You’ll be able to get your essay done quickly and correctly, and you’ll get the feedback and advice you need to improve your writing.

Essay Writing Services By Unemployed Professors

When we say that we’re the greatest custom essay writing service of all time, we’re not just quoting our own moms. We’ve been writing essays for over a decade, putting words into people’s mouths, and keyboards. Want to know more? You’re in the right place.

The Unemployed Professors essay writing service began in 2011 as an experiment offering a new, boutique take on custom-written essays. What we offered was a winning combination of the world’s best, most educated professional essay writers and a sense of humor (something sorely lacking among the competition). We know a thing or two about writing essays, and we don't just write them – we can teach you about them, too. That’s why we’re here to spout some cold, hard wisdom in your general direction.

Unlike many of our competitors, all of the professors who write our essays have had their credentials verified. While most custom essay service sites out there simply post ads on Craigslist to hire writers, we have historically worked through a referral system in which our professors have referred new hires to us. Subsequently, and so as to preserve the integrity of the custom essays we produce, we’ve always made sure to verify their credentials independently. While they remain anonymous, as do you, throughout the entirety of the custom essay writing process, we guarantee that all of our professors have graduate degrees (90% PhDs), and that they have all independently taught courses at the university level.

Unemployed Professors recognizes that, when you are commissioning a custom essay service, you might have a certain vision for the project. Because of this, our online discussion boards, open 24/7 and monitored around the clock, allow for rapid communication with your chosen professor. As such, and in cases where you need an extensive space to provide your professor with additional documentation or information regarding your custom essay, we’ve designed an essay writing service that makes it easy for you to anonymously communicate with the individual writing your customized essay.

Unemployed Professors has always differentiated itself in the industry in several key ways: We only hire verified and credentialed academics with teaching experience, we function as a customer-centered company, and we have a sense of humor. We are the best in the business at writing unique essays, along with every other form of writing, and we get results. We’ve written hundreds of thousands of affordable custom essays over the years and are still ranked number one in the essay writing services industry.

Unemployed Professors Essay Writing Service Process

Place an order

Describe your essay Requirements and attach additional materials. Select the essay subject, number of pages, type, format, and the deadline.

Select an essay writer

Select a professor. Deposit funds to your account and relax as your professor starts your essay. Your funds will be held in escrow until you are happy with your essay.

Track your project

Check your paper and ask for changes if necessary. Use the online chat to communicate with your professor and upload extra materials if necessary.

Receive your essay

Receive your completed essay and release the funds to the professor when you are satisfied.
Run the plagerism report. Party! (or sleep)

what is an essay

What is an Essay?

Here’s a fun and surprisingly relevant fact: The history of the essay services began with the moldy dead French guy, Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592). He coined the term for a collection of texts he was writing in which he was trying to make various arguments. In Renaissance French, “essayer” meant, approximately, “to try.” Got that? An essay is a piece of writing in which you try to prove a point. It might be formal, like an essay arguing against the death penalty, or it could be more informal, like a personal story (However, legend has it that if you use the word “I” twice in an essay, the ghost of an 87-year-old untenured composition professor will appear in your computer screen and corrupt the file).

An essay has a thesis or argument, which is usually stated in the first paragraph, but sometimes the thesis is implicit – especially in more personal essays. An essay has no specific prescription for minimum or maximum size, but 750 to 5,000 words is a good ballpark range. An essay usually begins with an introduction, makes about 3 major points, and concludes not by restating the introduction, but ideally by taking it further and making the reader think about the implications of the argument. An essay’s structure supports the argument. If it’s for school, an essay is usually written about an hour prior to the deadline and contains more than the recommended daily value of cliched phrases like “in conclusion". A great essay writing service can help you write like an expert.

what isn't an essay

What ISN’T an essay?

It might be easier to say what an essay is not than to say what it is. An essay is not fiction, even though many stories follow a five-act or five-scene structure that is similar to the quintessential five-paragraph essay. An essay is not a report or article that simply states facts. An essay is not a scientific article reporting on the results of a study or experiment, though many essays comment on these types of writing. An essay is not a book, or a poem, or a screenplay. An essay is not an argument that ends with an ultimate yes-or-no, binary claim. An essay is not a structureless, stream-of-conscious ramble, though since we are formerly employed professors, we’ve read more of those than we can count.

An essay is also not a prescription. Just about every essay rule or commandment can be, and has been, broken by professional writers. However, just like the stunts you see in movies and TV, don’t try those tricks at home. For most of the college students who write them, an essay is a dismal, miserable experience following a rigidly-defined set of minute, trivial rules, and most of these students learn about essays through a painful, slow process consisting of little more than worksheets or checklists that tie them to an extremely narrow set of options for style, content, formatting, and so on. The result is something the student never wants to look at again and worse, something that does not really teach anything. It’s no wonder that so many people ask how to write an essay, even after they’ve completed composition courses: The essay as we experience it in school is not the essay as it exists in the “wild". An essay writing service can teach you to create your own essays in a professional manner.

How do I write an essay?

You don't have to begin at the beginning when you write an essay. It’s not very hard to cut and paste. Just start writing and worry about revisions later. Brainstorm all your ideas in a way you find easy, whether that’s writing them down or even making a voice recording. Then look at what you brainstormed and think about what you want to argue. Remember, not all arguments offer a yes or no verdict. Think about what you want people to do, or feel, or know after reading the essay. Imagine that you are a lawyer arguing a case, and think about how each piece of evidence or statement will impact the jury (aka, the reader). Make sure you are presenting the evidence in a logical way, introducing key information early and allowing your argument to unfold.

What can an essay do?

Essays fundamentally make arguments, sure, and they can do the same things that any other piece of media can. That means they can provoke emotions. But essays can do a lot more than just share facts, persuade, or even change hearts and minds.

Despite what your humorless English 101 professor says, there are a lot of variations within the form of the essay. In real life, as in, real writing, essays can be personal, or explore style. They can be creative. They can serve as important documents, meaning that they can be part of history. A well-written essay on your business’s website or even your LinkedIn can boost traffic and credibility in addition to sharing an argument or information.

To find out more about what an essay can do for you and what we can do for your essay, check out our services page. For an in-depth look at academic essay writing, check out Paper Hacking 101 by our very own Deleuzienne!

Frequently Asked Questions


We hire current and former academics, graduate students who teach their own classes, with advanced graduate degrees, ninjas, and warlock Vatican assassins. All of our writers' credentials are objectively verified prior to their acceptance.


Everything but the kitchen sink. If you need it, we'll throw it in. But, simply put, our essays include all the supposed extras that our moronic competitors claim to shower on you as gifts: bibliographies; references; title pages; and believe it or not page numbers too. We'd send you a case of ramen noodles with your order but we don't want to know where you live.


We can write in any style that you or your professor could possibly contrive. Unemployed Professors ' super wizard has provided us with software via which we input data and magically conjure out references in any formatting style on the face of the earth. As for required sources, we most certainly can use and abuse them for you. It should be noted that, in some cases when a book is unavailable from the academic libraries that we are affiliated with, and an integral part of your assignment requires a sustained examination of it, we will need to purchase the book with your funds. In this case, you will be advised and charged the going price on Amazon plus the required shipping if your order is time-sensitive.


How much money are you willing to pay? In all seriousness, our online bidding system allows you complete control over the speed at which your essay can be written. Because our greedy Unemployed Professors are bidding on your essays, you can set the timeframe in which you need the work done and the market will dictate a price. Put more simply, we can write your essay as fast as your last one-night stand or as slow as the travails of a tantric master's love-making. We promise you, though, that we will make sweet tender love to your essay if you want it within a reasonable time-frame, or f*ck it back to the stone age if you want it hard and fast.


You can't call your Unemployed Professor and weep about your sappy love life but you'll be able sure as hell to give him or her instructions via the constantly-monitored messaging board only after he/she bids on your project. They'll be happy to take your instructions, render them comprehensible and competent, and put them into your paper lest you forget that they're much smarter than you are.


After you select the winner, he/she will upload it directly to your own account for you to download and you will then be able to pester your writer for revisions.


Unemployed Professors only offers refunds under one very limited condition. If the essay provided by your writer does not meet the guidelines that you provided, and you are capable of cogently articulating why, you will be entitled to a full refund minus a processing fee depending on the degree of disjuncture having occurred (see our full refund policy). We can tell you, though, that any Unemployed Professor caught doing this will be beat to death with piles of old textbooks and set out on the quad for all to mock.


Absolutely not - we offer custom research tailored to your needs. We might be mercenaries but sure as hell are not going to pop a cap in anybody's ass. We're just transferring copyright over research that we've done, in exchange for our fee, to you. Feel free to do whatever you want with the essay - you own it. Karl Marx would flip around in his grave but that's the beauty of capitalism baby!


If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? Only you can answer that question.


Incredibly so, and because the academic system is already so corrupt, we're totally cool with that. We even all have matching tweed t-shirts.


They say that it's called fishing instead of catching for a reason but that's not the point. If you seriously think that a CUSTOM-WRITTEN essay can be caught by plagiarism software, you probably shouldn't be in college. The whole reason why you're using this services is so that your lazy ass doesn't itself have to plagiarize. Long answer? We source and cite everything we write on the basis of our long experience of non-plagiarizing. Short answer? No, you're not going to get caught unless you do something stupid like tell everyone that you bought an essay.


The only thing that we care more about than your privacy is our own. In that vein, we (as in, the writers) want to know as little about you as possible. “We” in this context refers to the writers and not the site. All of your credit card information is handled by a third-party. All that the writer knows about you is the name (noms de guerre permitted) that you provide us through your username and the assignment that you're commissioning us to complete. The writers don't know any more than that and sure as hell don't want to. So, yeah, your confidentiality and privacy are guaranteed.