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We're Unemployed Professors, and we write high-quality custom essays

We write every essay from scratch, and never plagiarize. Ever.
Now we can also help with your online courses and tests.

Our services

As the world’s best bespoke custom essay writing solutions company, we really mean when we say we’ll write anything. Check out some of these common projects! If you don’t see what you need, try us and post it.
Research and academic writing

RESEARCH AND ACADEMIC WRITING

Research writing is our flagship service. We are Unemployed Professors, after all, and we boast an aggregate total of several centuries’ worth of expertise in teaching, writing, and research. No matter what you’re struggling with, chances are, one of us has taught it, and or, written several dozen papers on it.

Resumes / Cover letters

RESUMES / COVER LETTERS

When you can’t get the job through pure nepotism or wanton sexual favors, you need a well written resume. Let us help you. Little-known fact: We have written thousands of resumes, cover letters, LinkedIn profiles, and other professional documents over the years.

White Papers and Business Plans

White Papers, Industry Research Reports, and Business Plans

Maybe you’re a forward-thinking professional who wants some professional research to aid in your decision-making. Maybe you’re a mid-level manager who wants to outsource so you can spend more time on the stuff that matters, like your friends, family or your church.

Copy Writing

COPY WRITING

Our written content will increase brand awareness, and fine tune your business presence in advertising or other forms of marketing. We write ad copy so good, the Google bots crawling the web double over in algorithmic laughter, or tears of admiration for flawless prose, or some other emotion Google bots might have.

How it works

Place an order

Get a lame-ass project from your Professor. Select the paper subject, number of pages, type, and format, and the deadline. Specify your instructions and attach additional materials.

Select a writer

Watch, in amazement, as our Unemployed Professors voraciously outbid each other on your project. Select a professors, Deposit funds to your account and relax as your professor starts on your project.

Track your project

Check your paper and ask for changes if necessary. Use the online chat to communicate with your professor and upload extra materials if necessary.

Receive your paper

Receive your completed project and release the funds to the professor when you are satisfied.
Party! (or sleep)

WHY CHOOSE UNEMPLOYED PROFESSORS

We make use of only the top custom essay writing talent. By recruiting from the ranks of disenfranchised university professors, we offer the highest quality custom research

CUSTOM WRITTEN ESSAYS

Whatever it is you need, we can provide it. Research is our middle name, and we speak fluent APA, MLA, Chicago Style, and more. Experience the Unemployed Professors difference with our overly educated essay writers, award-winning customer service, and supernatural ability to meet crazy deadlines. We can write it all. With low rates, unparalleled customer service, and insane expertise, you can buy research papers and college term papers from your own Unemployed Professor.

PROFESSIONAL WRITERS

We make sure our writers are native speakers of English and have advanced postgraduate degrees, university teaching experience, and writing publications. They're also vetted for their ability to be witty and fashionable. We're certain our competitors can't say the same. Our essay writers are true professionals. They're talented, creative, and hard working. Above all, they have some of the most stellar credentials from the best institutions on the planet. They all have teaching experience, and many have extensive industry experience as well.

PLAGIARISM FREE

You might have noticed that we have a light hearted tone and don't take ourselves too seriously - except for this. At Unemployed Professors, you can rest easy knowing that, plain and simple, our essay writers do not plagiarize. Ever. Plagiarism detection programs like Safe Assign, TurnItIn, and the myriad SEO plagiarism detection options are no laughing matter. The fact is, your professional and academic reputation rests on not plagiarizing. You can count on us to produce original work, or even edit yours.

Writing is our bread and butter, except it’s more like truffle croissants. Whether you’re annoyed by Aristotle, confused by communications, or lost in linguistics, We can help!

OUR TOP 16 professors

We only hire current and former academics or graduate students who teach their own classes; all with advanced graduate degrees.
  • All
  • Diamond Level
  • Platinum Level
  • Gold Level

The proof is in the numbers

Talk is cheap, you say? You’d prefer some numbers? We’re pretty good with numbers, too. Feel free to pass on your math assignments as well.

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OUR ESSAY WRITING SERVICES FEATURED IN

Customers love us

Don’t take our word for it. Check out what our clients have said about the words we’ve put into their mouths.
Term Paper Writing
Professor-Rogue consistently delivers exceptional essays that include strong arguments that are well supported. Great work, great communication and ensures you will receive a high mark.
Mark Bridges
College Essays
GREAT Essay! Deleuzienne followed all the guidelines specified and wrote a wonderful college-leveled book report for me. And on such a time crunch! Thank You
Laura Stegner
Research Paper Writing
An excellent research paper and summary which illuminated all the key points that were requested in the project explanation. I will definitely use Professor Platinum in the future!!!
Patrick Pool
Custom Essay
Beautifully written essay, completely followed my guidelines, and clearly answered the questions asked. Went over and above the call of duty and saved me from more late points.
John Parting